I’m rendered speechless at times when I read comments such “just blast them off the face of the earth, just kick them out.” In other words the only response to those ‘you’ don’t like, or don’t understand is to address it with brute force. I fear what our attitude and behaviour will become when we so easily fall into such a violent way of thinking.
We never really know what motives people to do certain things until we have experienced the same motivators or drives.
In thinking about this it prompted to recall an experience I
had some years back. I was working for a
very large, well known multi-national. At times items of value were returned to
the company for a refund. Some of those
items started to go missing as did food items; taken from the fridges around
the building. One in question was a
valuable diamond ring. We searched high
and low, called in the police to no avail.
Things settled down for a while and then a couple more things went
missing. Investigations were launched.
Security and police once again investigated.
We struck a blank. About three
weeks after that event I received a phone call from one of the merchants in the
local shopping centre. One of my
employees had been caught shop lifting. He’d
stolen a sweatshirt and a tie. The
merchant didn’t call the police which was very generous of him. I went and collected the young man in
question and we went back to the office.
As you would image the discussion about his behaviour was
rather tense. Not only had he committed a crime (for which he was very lucky
not be charged) but as an employee any negative reflection on the company could
not be tolerated. Then the penny
dropped. Could this young man be the one stealing from the company? I along with my head of security asked the
question. He admitted he had. Then it
all came out.
This young man had arrived in Australia as a refugee (thought the front door) from the
ME; we were aware of this when we hired him.
He had been a very good employee. Hard working, punctual and whilst a
little shy he had work friends. Until
the stealing emerged we had no reason to council him or even suspect him. When
we pressed him on the question of stealing he told us that from a very early
age he had to take what he could to survive in a war torn country. He had been forced to do that from about five
years of age. His family never knew where their next meal, item of clothing etc.
was coming from. Often they went without food for days. So as the opportunity presented he stole
things, food, valuables and clothing.
Some of these things were kept to sell for food (at times shelter) when
they had no money. Whilst he now lived
in a country that was peaceful, where he had a job and a roof over his head he
found it hard to settle and to break his old habit. He never trusted that at some time things wouldn’t
change here. As he said, he lived in a peaceful country once and then things
changed so from the age of five he was conditioned to survive. We had no option but to dismiss him. As you would appreciate we couldn’t simply
overlook theft. Like the merchant we didn’t call the police and I also organised
to get him some help. I’m not sure where
the young man is now. We kept in touch for a while but I moved on and so did
he. But I will never forget that experience.
It taught me that until we walk in someone else’s shoes we never know
what drives their behaviour and whilst we may not condone it, we could and
should try to understand it. If we did, perhaps our responses might soften, not be so encouraging of violence as the first and only option.
Quote: “Judge not lest ye be judged” “Seek first to
understand, then to be understood.”
