I was told to calm-down over Donald Trumps comments about women. Well, I won’t.
In response to my last blog on Trump one man suggested I should consider the behaviour of the women Trump was talking about who encourage men to behave as Trump does. When I enquired if he also considered women in short skirts were asking to be raped, he told me I had a problem. I needed help, and I was a hypocrite (I’m still trying to figure out the hypocrite bit). I’m not the one with the problem but any man who blames the victim sure as hell has one. I’m also betting he’s not all that well informed on Trump’s background.
I feel very strongly about the objectification of women. No female should be subjected to such oafish, demeaning comments as those spoken by Trump. No, father should ever agree it's OK for a shock jock to say on radio his daughter is "a piece of ass". Fathers are supposed to protect their daughters, not support and condone their objectification.
My condemnation of Trump has nothing per se to do with the US election. To me, both candidates are equally bad. Albeit for different reasons. I don’t live in the US, so I don’t get to vote, anyway. My condemnation (and concern) is based on broader issues. That of the vilification of women. Plus, the hypocrisy and inconsistency with which various behaviours are treated.
Thousands of women are abused, demeaned and treated as second-class citizens. When the possible leader of the free world behaves the same way, the signal it sends out is, (as far as I am concerned) it's OK. It’s OK to demean women. It's OK to talk about groping them because they are attractive. It's OK to call women fat pigs, dogs, bimbos and slobs because to you they are unattractive or they've had the temerity called you out. Well, it's not OK in my book.
People say what Trump has said is all this in the past. Sorry, it isn’t. Even if it was, it shouldn’t matter. It wasn’t 10 years ago when he said to a female contestant on The Apprentice it would be nice to see her on her knees. What he is suggesting? A woman’s place in the boardroom is on her knees? Seriously, what Neanderthal thinking that is!!
In commenting in recent times on sexual assaults in the military Trump slighted both men and women with this comment, “What did these geniuses expect when they put men & women together?” So rather than condemn the crimes he suggests men and women are incapable living together? To be honest, that's as bad as Muslim men suggesting women have to cover themselves because they can’t trust themselves.
Only last year he took a crack at Arianna Huffington (not for the first time) tweeting, “How much money is the extremely unattractive (both inside and out) Arianna Huffington paying her poor ex-hubby for the use of his name?” He poked fun at her over her divorce. Is that the behaviour of someone who respects women? Not in my book. He attacked her because she stood up to him.
Of Carly Fiorina he said "Can you imagine that, the face of our next next president? I mean, she's a woman, and I'm not supposed to say bad things, but really, folks, come on. Are we serious?" No, he isn’t supposed to say things like that, but he does. When he does, and it's condoned then others follow the lead.
In making those comments (some in the last 12-months) Trump has all but affirmed that he does not respect women or regard them as equals.
I know what it's like to fight to be treated as an equal. I’ve been put down by men who think and act like Trump. I know many others who have as well. Why? Because there is a certain class of man who has a problem with strong women. Those men will resort to trying to belittle woman. I can look after myself and I don’t cave into bullies like that. But not everyone can fight their corner.
What really saddens me is this. We now have a man in Trump. who has the desire to be the leader of the free world who thinks so little of women. His voice will reach much further than the bullies I’ve encountered. But in essence he’s no better than them.
It is blatantly obvious Trump has a long history of pigeon-holing of women as either just a piece of ass or ugly losers. When you analyse it, you start to realise women with a voice, women with power, threaten Trump’s world view. The “bimbos” he simply disregards with condescending, disrespectful rhetoric. When it comes to the power group, Trump extends to those ladies, no less than some straight-up brutal attempts at assassinating their character. He doesn’t attack their credentials because he can’t. He resorts to personal assaults. As they say, it's a weak man who has to try and demean a woman to feel powerful.
In the course of an exchange yesterday, it was stated all men speak and act like Trump toward women. In my experience they don’t. But for those who do, then with respect it might be time for a bit of reflection and soul searching chaps. It is 2016. Remember those women you are demeaning are someone’s daughter, sister, wife, perhaps even mother. How would you feel if someone spoke about your daughter, or your wife in a smutty, tasteless, manner? So. I will continue to speak out and condemn it, in the hope society will strive to be better.
We have no right to criticise the repression of women by any other culture if we willingly support sexism, denigration and bullying of women in ours. Whilst many demand women be treated as equals by other cultures. We are simply hypocrites if we don’t demand the same from ours. We should certainly demand the same from those who seek to lead. Making smutty comments is bad enough. But, to suggest that a woman will allow you to do anything to her if you are powerful enough is simply appalling. Particularly if you have desires to be the most powerful man in the world.
When Bill Shorten verbally assaulted a woman in a pie shop, conservative supporters in Australia went into meltdown. Rightly so. Many of those same supporters are cheering Trump. A misogynist is a misogynist, regardless of circumstances. We can’t condemn one and cheer the on the other because we sit in different political camps.
In preparing a leadership paper recently, I came across a list of how to recognise an “Asshole at work”. How to spot the red flags:
- Personal insults
- Invading one’s “personal territory”
- Uninvited physical contact
- Threats and intimidation, both verbal and nonverbal
- “Sarcastic jokes” and “teasing” used as insult delivery systems
- Withering e-mail flames (I’d add in Trumps case tweets)
- Status slaps intended to humiliate their victims
- Public shaming or “status degradation” rituals
- Rude interruptions
- Two-faced attacks
- Dirty looks
- Treating people as if they are invisible
Hard to argue with any of that and it reminds me very much of Trump.
Trump in issuing his apology last week said. "I was younger, less mature, and acted foolishly I played along. I'm very sorry.” The chump was 60 for heavens sake. Trump is now 70 years old. He is still attacking women so what's his excuse now?
I was pleased to see that at least one of the political leaders of this country has the cuts to call Trump out. Derryn Hinch in responding to Pauline Hanson defence of Trump said, a "normal man" would not do what Trump claims to do to women.
"The man is a sexual predator and is a disgrace," Hinch said. Hear, hear.
On the other hand we have the oafish Nigel Farge insisting Trumps comments amount to 'alpha male boasting'. Well that's OK then. It just boys being boys.
One comment on the Presidential election. To think this has been relegated to the level of who can be the most obscene is a very sad indictment of society today. The world deserves better. John Oliver said,
"Do me a favour - look up into the sky right now...
Higher..no higher still..
Do you see that?
Way up there, way up, above the clouds..
That's ROCK BOTTOM.
And we are currently down here."
Oliver is 100% correct.
On the other hand we have the oafish Nigel Farge insisting Trumps comments amount to 'alpha male boasting'. Well that's OK then. It just boys being boys.
One comment on the Presidential election. To think this has been relegated to the level of who can be the most obscene is a very sad indictment of society today. The world deserves better. John Oliver said,
"Do me a favour - look up into the sky right now...
Higher..no higher still..
Do you see that?
Way up there, way up, above the clouds..
That's ROCK BOTTOM.
And we are currently down here."
Oliver is 100% correct.
So back to my starting point. I will not ‘calm-down’. Whilst I am free to voice my opinion I will. Just because ‘all’ men behave badly as suggested, it doesn’t make it right. Just meekly accepting the status quo is not in my DNA. To the idiot who obviously believes ‘women are asking for it’ in other words, blame the victim, grow up.
