A lot has been written & said about Donald Trump’s handling of his
call to Sgt. Johnson’s widow. Myeshia Johnson is only a young woman. She is now
facing life alone with two small children and another one on the way. She
appears to have been completely forgotten as each side lines up to take aim at
other. She is the priority here, not the President.
It doesn’t matter what Donald Trump, John Kelly, you or I believe about
the call. It’s how Myeshia Johnson feels that’s important. From all accounts, including
feedback from her mother Myeshia Johnson was very upset after speaking with the
President. That appears to stem more from the fact that Donald Trump didn’t
even remember her husband’s name. But I’m sure the comment (confirmed by Myeshia’s
mother) that Trump said, “He knew what he signed up for,” add to the hurt.
I have sympathy for Myeshia Johnson. My husband died suddenly while on
his morning run December 2015. He was fit
and healthy his death was unexpected and tragic because he died alone on the
street. On hearing of the circumstances of
his death an acquaintance said, “Well that’s one of risks.” I felt like hitting
her. That’s like saying to someone who just lost someone in a motor vehicle accident;
well they knew the risks when they got behind the wheel. In my case the comment
stung me for weeks. So, given Sgt. Johnson’s circumstances I can understand how
Myeshia Johnson must be feeling.
Donald Trump could have handled things so much better. It’s not good
enough for people like General Kelly to dismiss the issue in claiming Donald
Trump did his best. Sometimes our best is not good enough and we need to be
honest enough to admit it. Donald Trump compounded the problem with his
petulant and idiotic tweets. This is his modus operandi whenever he is
criticised.
To be honest, I’m surprised General Kelly has allowed himself to be
drawn into this fiasco. He has even resorted to lying in his attack on
Congresswoman Wilson which is very disappointing. As for John Kelly citing his
own experience on the death of his son, he forgets some important key
differences. One, he was much old than Myeshia Johnson when he got the news. He
wasn’t pregnant. John Kelly was a serviceman as was his son, she isn’t. He is a
father; she is a wife and trust me it makes all the difference. In saying that
I am not being dismissive of the devastation associated with losing a child. However losing a husband brings with it a
whole new set of other emotions and problems not experienced on the death of a
child. One thing I have learnt over past 20 months is women experience grief
differently to men.
If Trump had any
compassion or understanding, he would have apologised to Sgt Johnson’s widow for
causing more hurt and upsetting her even if it was unintentional. It’s called showing
respect. Trump would have won a lot of admiration if he had. But it takes a man
of honour to admit his mistakes. It is such a shame because it appears Donald Trump is too proud and I suspect too arrogant to ever admit an error. But isn't a sign of weakness to admit mistakes in fact it is a sign of strength.
As an example of how leaders deal with these stressful situations, someone mentioned this incident
which involved President Bush. “President
George W. Bush listened while a woman whose brother died in Iraq screamed at
him and then hugged her to console her. He did not lash out.” Because whatever
his flaws, President Bush understood the distress of woman who had lost her
brother. There is the stark difference two Presidents.
I don’t care what side of politics you are on it should never be used
as a justification for overlooking lack of compassion. I hope Myeshia Johnson
finds the strength to see her through what will be the toughest battle of her
life. I wish her well.
I hope the public brawling including attacks from the White House on
those who in reality were only standing up and defending a grieving Gold Star
Widow stop. Myeshia Johnson deserves better than this.
